Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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