Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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