Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
