this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
