I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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