im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
