like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
