I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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