I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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