I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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