We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
These tits shall not be calmed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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