I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
