she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
