She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
