I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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