So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
