tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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