And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize
