You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
