i think my tv is drunk
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
