wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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