Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
