Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
