Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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