Did you just see the Batmobile???
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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