I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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