Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
