you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
