Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
