so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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