i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
