Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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