I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize