You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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