I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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