my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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