Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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