he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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