she was so not down for the gang bang
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
