Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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