Porn is love you can see.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
