I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
