if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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