he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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