I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
