Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
