It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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