My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
