I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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