but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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