and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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