woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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